Shane. G. O'Hagan: Author Interview Part II

• If not yourself, who would you be?

 

I’d love to be a journalist of some description, but one with some self-respect, not a writer for the Sun or Daily Mail. Louis Theroux would be a fun guy to be, like Jeremy Paxman, as you’d just antagonise people all day. That or an actor on an improvised comedy show or movie, not because I think I’m funny but because they seem to have so much fun in the outtakes. I’d love to be Mark Millar too, because not only does he write comics, but he just throws them together from the most offensive topics he can think off, much like Frankie Boyle.

 

• Where would you like to live?

 

I’ve always wanted to live in a big city, and I’ve pretty much fulfilled that dream being in Edinburgh. A few year ago, I would have chosen a big European city like Berlin or Rome, but I think I’d just like their weather more than anything else.

 

• Your favourite prose authors.

 

Bret Easton Ellis, Irvine Welsh, Iain M. Banks. Their fiction is what inspires me. It inspires me because it’s so inspired. They say that Asimov and Clark revolutionised Sci-Fi, but Ellis, Welsh and Banks revolutionised the written word. Hunter S. Thompson should be there too, but he’s more of a poet.

 

• Your favourite poets.

 

Hunter S. Thompson, Jack Kerouac, Shakespeare. Shakespeare is an obvious choice but that’s because he’s amazing. It’s like saying that Cadbury’s is the world’s most popular chocolate. It is for a reason. Allen Ginsberg is good, too, but he supports NAMBLA so there’s some respect lost as a human, but not a poet. Philip Larkin. Roald Dahl. There’s something about simple over-elaborate yet beautifully written prose being poetic.

 

• Your favourite painters and composers.

 

A popular choice – Da Vinci, but not for the Mona Lisa or any of those things, but for his notebooks. We throw around the word “genius” these days and attach it to people like Kanye West, but they don’t deserve it at all. Da Vinci was a genius. Beethoven was a genius. Mozart, Tchaikovsky, Chopin, they’re geniuses. Modern composers like Michael Kamen and Nobuo Uematsu deserve a mention as well as Jeremy Soule. John Williams, too.

 

• Your favourite heroes in real life.

 

Steve Buscemi. After 9/11, he volunteered to his old firefighting squad to help clean up. He did it anonymously, though how anyone could miss his face is beyond me. David Attenborough for spreading knowledge. All teachers (that do a good job). People like JK Rowling and Stephanie Meyer, not because they write well, but because their fiction (however good or bad it might be) gets people to read. Say what you want about Katie Price, but she gets people to buy books who probably haven’t read anything outside of the Daily Star in years.

 

• Your favourite heroes in fiction.

 

Jack Bauer. He took down a helicopter with a handgun and came back from the dead thrice. John McClane. Ned Stark. Tony Stark. There’s a brilliant bit in The Ultimates, where Iron Man is thrown into Grand Central Station by The Hulk. At this point, he’s dying of a brain tumour and gets drunk to numb the pain. His tech team find him, and he’s a mess. He’s thrown up inside his helmet, he’s in a cold sweat and he tells them to pull the plug on the mission, because he can’t do it, he’s too scared. This little kid comes up and says, “But Iron Man, if you don’t save New York, who will?” He gives the kid the thumbs up and flies off for Round Two. What a guy.

 

• Your favourite names.

 

I love Jack and will be on for any character in a movie or book with that name, no questions asked.

 

• Your pet aversion.

 

I’m not averse to any pets, but I can’t have disrespect. Costs nothing to be polite.

 

• What characters in history do you most dislike?

 

The generals in the Confederate army during the American War for Independence. There’s a big deal about the politics behind their politics, and the slaves they’re fighting for the right to keep had a very important place in the economy. The emancipation of those slaves would cause unknown problems in terms of labour and how money changed hands. They were still racists, though, and greedy, much like the modern Republicans. Even before that, the colonists slaughtered Native Americans left and right. Humans are the worst.

 

• What is your present state of mind?

 

Happy, happiest I’ve been in a while.

 

• For what fault have you most toleration?

 

Stupidity, just because I like correcting people.

 

• Your favourite motto.

 

My family motto is “Victory or Death”, and although it’s badass, I don’t really subscribe to it. My favourites are either the scouts (Be Prepared), Google (Don’t be evil) or Pokemon (Catch ‘em all).